Software Engineer

mr. christmas tire slasher

· by jsnby · Read in about 2 min · (339 Words)

I personally just wanted to give a big shout out to the a-hole, Mr. Christmas Tire Slasher, who decided to puncture all four of the tires on my 4Runner. THANK YOU SO MUCH! It was so much fun trying to find a shop that would patch them. I almost dropped my truck off the jack stands while remounting the tires.

Once again, Mr. Christmas Tire Slasher, you rule! Were it not for you, I would have no idea how to spend the $1K that I must now fork out for new tires.

I hope you were just having a really, really bad day and decided that my truck was the one to take out your aggressions on. I’d like to think that it went something like this… got fired, so you were home early only to find your wife in bed with your younger, more attractive brother and at that point she told you she was leaving your deadbeat ass for him, taking Old Blu’, your dog, and had hired a multi-hundred dollar per hour attorney to take you to the cleaners for everything that you own. You then proceded to the liquor store, got all hyped up on charcoal filtered vodka(the fancy stuff….$9.99 for the 1.75L bottle), then decided to spread the Christmas cheer by puncturing holes in the tires of the car with the biggest tires you could find.

I hope you crawl into a hole and die. Vandalism serves no purpose, especially something of this nature. I can halfway understand carving your initials into a picnic table or graffiti on the side of a concrete structure, but I see no value whatsoever in personal property damage. I hope you were able to observe me changing the tires because at least then you could have seen some of the fruits of your labors.

If you ever sprout the gonads to introduce yourself to me Mr. Christmas Tire Slasher, I’d really like to meet you as I can’t say that I’ve ever met a lower form of life.