jury duty continued

I have to report for my final day of jury duty in about 8 hours. I’d better get to sleep soon (it’s 12:30 AM). I just don’t know that I can sleep.

Maybe it’s because of all the resume’s and BS I’ve sent out, I haven’t gotten a single response. Not a single email. Nothing. I had an interview lined up…too bad it was in Santa Barbra. Laura has her job pretty much secured. Once they officially offer her the position at the City of Hope, she has three weeks to report for duty. This means she gets to move to southern California without me.

I really hate how this whole affair is turning out. Every day I go to Intel, I feel like I wouldn’t even care if I quit, got fired, or just said f**k it and walked out. Then, after a wonderful day at work, I come home and stare at my computer screen, trying to sell myself and my soul in cover letters to corporations that I don’t even know. I’m so sick of writing “To Whom It May Concern.” Then, when I’m done with that, I take some comfort in knowing that I get to play with PhotoShop and HTML/CSS/JavaScript. That’s my only relief these days.

I just wish I could rewind everything about six years. I would have changed my major at UCD to computer science engineering instead of computer engineering. I would have devoted myself more to my studies than to my personal exploration of the world. Maybe then I would have a resume with skills that mean something. The computer engineering program is a joke. Sure, you learn enough of software and hardware to make you dangerous, but not enough of either to make you a candidate for the available positions in industry.

I stopped by BentUp Saturday night on my way home from work. Work on a saturday? Yup. Especially when you have first silicon for a product that the process engineers didn’t think would work that actually did work. I don’t like the fact that I think I’m the only sort engineer in folsom who’s currently working on every piece of silicon we currently have.

I’m going to bed….I have to deliberate in the morning.